Reasons to be Pretty Happy by Neil LaBute

Author:Neil LaBute [LABUTE, NEIL]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: DRA000000, DRA001000
ISBN: 9781468317091
Publisher: The Overlook Press
Published: 2018-08-07T00:00:00+00:00

Out in the hallway.

GREG standing around. Looking into the trophy case at the statue of the squire.

He checks his phone. Waits a bit longer. He’s about to go back inside when KENT and CARLY stroll past. They stop.

KENT … hey man. Congrats. (Beat. ) Pretty good speech in there. (Beat. ) Funny.

GREG Yeah? Thanks …

CARLY Welcome. (To GREG.) Yeah, that was just … didn’t know that you hated it here so much …! (Beat. ) Anyways.

GREG What? ( Beat. ) I don’t hate it …

CARLY Kinda sounded like it …

GREG What do you mean?

CARLY Just, like, your whole … nothing.

GREG No, what?

KENT Nah, dude, it wasn’t so bad. And thanks for the shout-out. I guess.

GREG Yeah, but … I didn’t say anything that was, like … too …

KENT No, you were just … you were clever and everything …

GREG Yeah … and …?

CARLY Greg, come on … ( Beat. ) You had a little bit of an attitude. (Beat. ) It was your speech, so you can say, you know, whatever you like, but … most people just wanna have fun tonight … not get made fun of …

GREG I wasn’t trying to be a dick or anything … seriously …!

CARLY Well, then, maybe you just are one.

GREG Jesus. (Beat. ) What?

CARLY I don’t mean that in a bad way …

GREG Really? Because it sure sounds like you do … calling somebody a …

CARLY No, I’m just saying that you might not hear yourself … when you’re on a subject or talking to people … people from here, anyway. Home.

GREG I just … God … what’d I say?

CARLY … you were just kinda … snotty …

GREG What?

KENT Don’t worry about it, man. People are all drunk and shit. Nobody’ll remember by tomorrow …

GREG Yeah, but I don’t want people saying that I’m … some … kinda …

CARLY Douchebag?

GREG Ummmmm … I was gonna go a little softer than that, maybe … but … ummmmm … yeah.

CARLY Then you pick.

GREG Just … you know … like some ungrateful person … who thinks they’re so great or whatever. For moving away. (Beat. ) One of those guys …

CARLY You mean, like … a “douchebag”?

GREG Yeah. Kinda. (Beat. ) That’s not who I am … you guys know that.

CARLY Then maybe you should show Steph or somebody your speech ahead of time—if you do this again one day. In, some cool place like … New York …

GREG Yeah, I guess that would’ve … been …

CARLY It’s okay, Greg. You were just … you know. (Beat. ) Being you.

GREG Again … that sounds kind of mean.

CARLY Look, I’m not trying to be a bitch, I’m just saying: think about what you said up there … is that really the guy you wanted to end up being in life? That guy? (Beat. ) Is it …?

KENT Carly, we should … ( To GREG ) We are gonna dance a little bit … we’ve gotta get back soon and so we’re gonna bust a move or two …

GREG Okay.

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